I feel like I need to be doing something with my life to make it worth while and not just existing
I can’t help thinking that I could have been somebody. I could have done something with my life. But alas, reality always sets in to let you know what the fuck is up.
I’m supposed to be rewriting my essay I got a C- on but then I thought, 1) it’s 10:24 Sunday night. 2) I don’t know where to even begin. 3)I won’t get a much better grade.
I would sell my soul 5x to be beautiful or smart. Envious of naturally smart kiddos and people with a future.
feels like I’m drowning
Writing gives me anxiety and makes me nauseous. My grades give me anxiety. School sucks. This has been a note from a typical failure. xoxo
i can’t take it anymore
If you have self esteem issues make sure you hash that shit out BEFORE you get to college
School is overwhelming me. Well that’s an understatement. I guess to bring everyone to speed in my current life, school is kicking my ass. I failed my English midterm and my 2nd paper. My other classes are piling up and I have no clue what’s going on. I can’t just drop out or fail because I’m on a scholarship and if I lose it well then I have to drop out of school (which wouldn’t be such a bad thing for me). I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. It’s already time to pick classes for next semester and I don’t know who to talk to or where to begin or how to explain I feel like my world is crashing down on me. I got an email from my English TA that listed out all the upcoming assignments and reading and books and at the end she added “Keep Smiling”. It’s like how can I always keep in mind how blessed I am every second of the day. Yes there are millions that have it worse than me but shit gets tough sometimes. I feel like damn can I get a gasp of air? A friendly hug? Or someone I could run to and tell me things will all turn out alright? I just wish there was some time of guidelines that showed you how to make sure you don’t turn out a piece of shit failure. I’m constantly trying to convince myself that I need to be something with my life and not just fade into the oblivion.
I just need to pick my shit up and get my shit together.